Dear Sir,
Recently both Democrats and Republicans have been pointing the way out of our national debt on the shoulders of the rich and old, respectively. I have a proposal that is sure to restore our economy to it’s vibrancy which can appease all sides.
Some basic constants are necessary to know in order to qualify my solution. First, it is an unequivocal fact that we are an empire. As such, our military expansionism over the past 10 years has put a severe drain on both blood and treasure. The second point is that our society is ever-aging and living longer, adding to the astronomical cost of healthcare. So that we can continue our foreign exploits to quell the emerging anti-Americanism abroad ( and pilfer natural resources in the process) and reduce the burden of maintaining Medicare and Social Security solvency, I thus propose a new military draft. But in place of asking young 18 year olds to sacrifice for their country and a dire future of physical, mental and financial troubles, the new draft would target the elderly.
Imagine a world where they could be deployed to all exotic corners of the earth. And instead of cameras we’d give them guns. They could even get behind the wheel of our tanks and armored vehicles. As members of our armed forces they could receive three square meals a day, something that Social Security will increasingly be unable to do. Of course the elderly of means would be able to find loopholes in the draft and have replacements go in their place.
The long-term reduction of Medicare and Social Security recipients would lower healthcare costs across the board at the same time we could continue building bases in geo-politically resource-laden parts of the world. It’s a win-win.
Sardonically,
J. Gulliver Swift